What Do You Mean, Exactly?

Anne Bender — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 15:13:15 +0000

I am inspired by many things.

Some mundane, some not, and others are just oddly placed and happen to spark a thought.

I was looking at my email inbox when this subject line provoked such a thought:

Give your daughter a Valentine’s Day every girl will envy

This reminded me of a conversation I had with Megan just the other day.

Megan: My roommate got one of those Valentine’s Day packages from her parents today. I’m so glad you don’t do that.
Me: Really?
Megan: Yeah. It was all this chocolate and peeps and Little Debbie cakes. She’s eaten half of it already.
Me: And you wouldn’t want that?
Megan: No. I have plenty already. Besides, who needs that much chocolate and candy.

Did she mean what she said or did she mean the opposite?

Was she really glad she didn’t get a package of junk food from her family? Maybe it’s not the junk food, but the idea of getting something unexpected. Or maybe she doesn’t expect anything and finds the whole thing a bit frivolous and a money waster.

I’m confused

At one point in my life I would not have given that conversation much thought. The email subject would not have garnered any reaction other than “gimmick, pass”. I miss those days.

Then I met Dwayne.

Let me tell you, I am a royal pain in the butt. I know it. I accept it.

Dwayne is just confusing. Sometimes he thinks I’m in his life as a test. Yeah, well, right back at ya!

He is the reason I said to my boss “I’m just wondering who you’re trying to convince, me or you?” when he kept telling me what a wonderful employee I was only to fire me at the first opportunity.

Dwayne tells me that when people repeat the same thing over and over again you have to wonder if they are trying to convince themselves or the other person. My former boss was always with the compliments, yet they seemed so forced. His final actions spoke the loudest, and these occurred long after I was gone.

People usually say exactly what they mean

So when a co-worker called me an a*hole then said just kidding I was prompted to respond with a very serious “no you’re not, you meant exactly what you said”. I was more offended at the obvious cover-up.

Own it!

I say I’m sorry all the time. I mean it, but it has lost meaning. When I truly apologize I’m specific. If I say you did a crappy job on something and I hurt your feelings with how I said it I will apologize for hurting your feelings, not for saying you did a crappy job.

People usually say the exact opposite of what they mean

WTH? Which one is it? Make up your mind. I’m slow, not stupid. He would pull whichever saying worked to his advantage.

And men say women are manipulative.

I say exactly what I mean, sometimes

I joke around, a lot. I love using words that can be taken completely out of context and catch people off-guard. I didn’t truly learn this art until my twenties. I was always missing opportunities. Now I have to watch I don’t blurt out something at an inappropriate time. When I’m kidding, I’m kidding. If you’re unsure, then ask.

Check out the tag line over at Heather’s blog. This is true. Laughter helps when delivering un-pleasantries. I don’t follow with a ‘just kidding’ if I’m not. Yet, there is no need to be flat out mean.

Tone is hard to hear in the written word if you don’t truly understand the writer

I’m fairly direct. I’m almost always smiling, sometimes laughing, when I write.

Whenever she sees something slightly amusing, she bursts into convulsions of laughter that involve her shaking like she’s about to explode, stamping her feet on the floor and pointing to the thing that she finds so hilarious.
- urbandictionary.com [one definition of the name Anne]

Yes, I am distracted by shiny things. Check out this Sonic commercial, I laugh every single time I see it [I laughed at it two times while writing this post] -

And sometimes I say things…

Ever say something that struck you funny. You had no other thought other than how this something struck you funny. You say it and the person you say it to questions your motives?

Sometimes it’s simple. Sometimes it’s absolutely nothing. Sometimes it’s just a thought with little thought, an idea of no depth, a few words strung together and nothing more.

Sometimes I think like a man. Trust me on this. I’m practical. I’m rational. It’s annoying.

Sometimes I think like a woman. Well, I am. A woman, that is. I have feelings. Many feelings. It’s annoying.