Self Discovery, Epiphanies, & Happiness ~ Part 1

Anne Bender — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:44:14 +0000

I’m a big dork! That’s right, I said it. I am and I really don’t mind. Lately I have just been happy. It’s odd really. And I’m not sure I can really explain it either, but I’m going to try. Don’t you feel special?

First a Little ‘Ode to Joy’ ~ Muppet Style

I love the Muppets! Those old guys always did crack me up.

Self Discovery

I have been on this road to understanding a little more about myself and what I want out of this life of mine. I realize I am a thinker. Oh, and I feel a lot more than I wish, but ultimately I think way too much for anyone’s good. This makes me question just about everything and feel inadequate most days.

Just recently I was thinking about how so many people I am friends, acquaintances, in contact with that speak more than one language. Many of them speak at least two, but possibly even more. I speak one. I started learning French when I was in elementary school [somewhere between 8 & 10 I believe]. My mom pulled out some French language records. Oh, yes. These were vinyl, scratchy, and lift the needle to replay records. I still know how to say ‘What is your name?’ and ‘My name is’ but that is about the extent of my French.

I can say rabbit poop, thunder, chicken’s butt, and give me a hug in Czech

In high school I took 2 years of Spanish. I begged and pleaded with my mother to let me take French, then German, anything but Spanish. Today I can count ~ to about 50, say the alphabet ~ no rolling r’s though, and say one very intimate phrase that was taught to me by a very young Cuban co-worker years ago. Now, it’s not like that. I was dating a Cuban man and this co-worker thought it would be nice if I could say something to him in his native tongue. I even wrote a very short poem in Spanish. Oh, and I finally learned how to say smartass in Spanish. This one comes in handy often.

I can say rabbit poop, thunder, chicken’s butt, and give me a hug in Czech [part of my heritage on my mother's side]. All quite useful, don’t ya think? I can say I love you in English, Spanish, German, & French. Not sure how far any of that will get me either.

I am in awe. Truly I am. Just so everyone knows, no matter how poorly you speak English, you probably speak it far better than I speak your native language. Always remember this when you feel a bit inadequate in your ability. Because you should not feel that way.

NaNoWriMo & Other Things

It didn’t take any self discovery to know I tend to stray off topic often and without apology. It’s all just one of my more endearing qualities, or so I like to think.

I did learn I can write 50,000 words in 30 days. Wow! It feels really good, too. I have a lot of rewriting and editing to do, but I have something I can work with. But that is not even the best part. The best part is I learned something through all of that writing. I can write. Really. It is not all crap. Some of it most definitely is, but not all of it. I did pull some in with my dream sequence and all of your comments really inspire me to keep at it.

I also learned that I have a lot of emotion tucked away deep down inside. I enjoyed releasing bits and pieces of that emotion through my characters and within my writing. I am learning more and more about myself and even if I am never published I will gain so much from my continued writing. It is a great gift indeed.

Epiphanies & Happiness

These things never come quickly or with few words, at least not with me. In an effort to spare you a book of a post I am breaking this out into several parts.

Your turn

Now before you go, I would love to hear all about your own self discovery. Through this great big journey we call life we are bound to hit upon a few things ~ some good, some bad. Sometimes they arrive after much thought and contemplation. Other times they sneak up on us without warning or invitation. A shameless plea for comments I know, but I welcome links to your posts as well. How’s that for sharing some bloggy love?!