All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.

- Henry Ellis

Ever learn something and it just stays with you? Not really school stuff. More like life stuff. One of those life lessons for me is about birds.

Way back some twenty odd years ago I had a mean cockatiel named Oscar. Yes, we named him after:

Anyway, Oscar got caught on a metal clip in his cage which tore a hole under his beak. I was newly married. My (then) husband removed the clip and I took Oscar to the vet. Yeah, it would have been cheaper to buy a new bird, but in my heart I had to help Oscar. The vet did his thing and put one of those cones around Oscar’s head. I was to give him drops, but there was no guarantee he would survive.

I took Oscar home and nursed him best I could. I placed a sheet over his cage to keep him warm. And I waited. Honestly, even the vet was surprised he survived. A few months later, and completely unexpectedly, Oscar died.

That’s one tough old bird!

There’s a good reason for that saying. It’s true. When birds get sick or hurt they don’t show it. Predators go after the weak. Birds don’t show their weakness. That is, until they are near death.

In the news

I’ve been hearing a lot about how women tend to ignore their health. You know you hear it, too. ‘I can’t get sick. The kids have this activity and that. And dinner has to be made,’ and so on and so forth. Women are the caregivers. We’re not allowed to get sick.

But we do.

We ignore the signs. Shake it off. Take an aspirin. Take a nap. We’re tough birds. And you don’t know we’re sick until we’re really sick. I know because I’m guilty of this, too.

As it had shined across him all his life, so understanding lighted that moment for Jonathan Seagull. They were right. He could fly higher, and it was time to go home.

-Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull a story

My mom died last night. Last year she was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. She put on a brave face during her year long battle. There was always hope. And yet, I knew. I think she did, too. She was admitted to the hospital Monday night. Tuesday seemed hopeful. Wednesday not so much. Bone Cancer was discovered. Breathing was difficult. Thursday was worse. Blood clots in the lungs were causing the breathing difficulties. DNR was discussed.

I’m sure in those final moments she was ready. My step-dad said she told him it was the end. And then she closed her eyes. He said it was very peaceful.

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