Why do we do those things we do?
- courtesy of antigone78
It’s a niggling thought that lately has been at the back of my brain [or is that the front?].
I met with the owner of Fit Studio 365 this past Monday to discuss my goals and how I am to get there. I’ve been thin. I’m not fat now, but my clothes are a bit tight. Last time I dropped 30 pounds and 3 pant sizes.
This was my insanity workout schedule:
Monday – 1 hr Yoga/Pilates ; 1 hr Kickboxing [not always with the kickboxing as it royally kicked my a**]
Tuesday – 30 min Abs ; 1 hr Step Aerobics ; 1 hr 15 min Dance Aerobics
Wednesday – recover from Tuesday
Thursday – 30 min Abs ; 1 hr Step Aerobics
I would change either in my office or in the bathroom, run downstairs to the aerobics studio and get my workout on. I loved it!
Yet, I was still fat. Um, flabby IS fat people!
This time I want better.
I want tonage. Don’t care if it’s a real word, I still want it.
I want muscle.
I want to fit in my pants a year later!
Damn, I just realized I got a tad off-topic here. Or did I?
I met with Robyn and discussed these goals. She asked me a few questions and I tried to answer honestly. I didn’t lie. There are some things I wasn’t sure how to answer. Yet, what sticks most in my mind, beyond my need to eat more protein and use weights, beyond the need to switch from soy milk to almond [I did this already, Yum!], beyond the added expense, beyond all of those things is how self aware I am.
That just bites!
Sure, you’re thinking this is a good thing. Well, when you are self aware you have absolutely no reason to not do as you should. This means I am supposed to be a good girl, All the damn time!
What cruel, cruel fate is this
Then, I wondered, am I really self aware or am I self obsessed? Let’s compare shall we.
According to Karl Perera, being self aware is knowing a few [9] things.
Measuring My Self Awareness
1. what do you want in your life
I want peace and passion in my life. Passion in all areas. Peace in existence. I like a little edgy turmoil, not drama.
2. your strengths and weaknesses
Strengths: I care. I want to save to world and believe it’s possible. I believe everyone contributes value equally [you will not change my mind on this.] I’m smart. I’m practical. [I know, how practical can one be who believes they can save the world.]
Weaknesses: I’m afraid. I’m lazy. I lack motivation, drive, ambition. I’m stubborn.
3. what motivates you and makes you happy
I just said I lack motivation, didn’t I? If I had to put my finger on something, helping and taking care of others. Kids, adults, animals.
4. what you want to change about yourself or about your life
Direction. I want to change my direction. I’m lost and unfocused.
5. your achievements so far
Raising [with the help of many, many friends and family] three pretty neat kids [although I really can't take credit for their awesomeness. that is all them]. Owning a home all of my adult life [thanks to their father]. Getting my Associates degree after starting a family, then getting my Bachelors some 14 years later [3.97 GPA, stupid B in the final class!]. I’m happy.
6. how you relate to others
I try not to judge. We all do it, but we can work on not doing it. People are complex creatures. There is good in most people [I would say all, but I'm learning the hard way this just is not true]. I am cautious and respect others’ beliefs. Oh, and when I ask if something looks okay on me I want an honest answer. Don’t you dare let me go out in public looking stupid. If you ask me you will get an honest response back. Get over it!
Exaggerated example:
Him: Honey, those pants make your ass look 3 feet wide.
Me: Don’t blame my 3 foot ass on the poor pants. It’s not their fault!
7. knowing you need to improve as a person
I constantly need improvement. When I’m perfect I’ll be dead or onto the next plane of existence.
8. your most important beliefs and values
Lead by example. Live and let live. Do Unto Others. Have a sense of humor.
9. how you see yourself as a person
I’m a good person. I admit to my mistakes. I give credit where credit is due. Average and not so average. Been called an odd duck and took it as a compliment.
What About Self-obsessed?
adj. The act of being constantly preoccupied with the thought of yourself and everything in this world that involves you or should involve you. A self-obsessed individual is someone who just can’t help thinking and talking about themselves.
Wow! I would think everyone is guilty of this self-obsessive behavior at some point or another. I did just write a post about the length of my hair after all. Not to mention my body image issues. Sure we all want to be healthy, but I want to look good. I can admit it.
Makes me think of Dave’s post on Oversharing NOT being Intimacy. It all ties in somehow.
We share “intimate” details of our lives in a bit of a self-obsessed I-Self-Me kind of way.
Gotta love those isms.
Celebrities are slightly self-obsessed. Some more than others. Others less than some. No?
Golden Globes, Tony Awards, Oscars, Emmys, Academy Awards. Shall I go on?
We perpetuate it, too. It’s a train-wreck and we all [not all] have to stop and look.
Until it’s you, that is.
Am I self-obsessed?
Duh! Yes. Just look at this blog. Not painfully so, but of course I am.
The great thing about that? I’m also self-aware. So, it’s fixable, I hope. 
Next time we can all get a little self-possessed.
What about you?
I cannot be the only one who thinks about this stuff.
I can tend to be self-obsessed quite a bit as well. It is all about me after all. I love the part where you said that you are often called the odd duck and took it as a compliment. Mee too! I’ve been called the free-spirited black sheep by family and friends and ran with it.
Tonage is a great word! Rock on….
Lovely post! )
Ms. Freeman shares some words of wisdom ..Why I Welcome Being Laid Off From My Job
[Reply]
Anne
Twitter: AnneOnline
Reply:
February 5th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
@Ms. Freeman, It’s empowering to know we are a different AND others see it. My kids have inherited some of these quirks and developed their own as well. It makes life so much more fun, I think.
[Reply]
Love your new header Anne, I think it rocks.
I don’t believe I am self obsessed, although I am aware as I get older that I need to lose a little weight. I used to be pretty chubby when I was younger, and converted it all to muscle by doing weights.
Then I got married, had kids and stuff an got out of the exercise routine. I need to get back into it, but every time I start something goes wrong. It’s starting to piss me off. Reckon it would be easier if I had a training partner but the wife isn’t interested. Exercise to her is a dirty word
Sire shares some words of wisdom ..How Twitter Can Actually Earn You Some Cash
[Reply]
Anne
Twitter: AnneOnline
Reply:
February 6th, 2010 at 10:24 am
@Sire, Thank you, Sire. I had fun creating it.
I was super thin, but never learned to eat properly. I love working out, but like you find it easier when I have a partner. None of that here. Dwayne has back and neck issues [fell off a roof 17 years ago] and gets his exercise climbing ladders at work. Not that he would ever do any traditional exercises anyway. I think I’m going to break down and do some personal training. Who knows, maybe I’ll find someone to partner with at the gym if I can just get there.
[Reply]
Twitter: websiteweekend
says:
Tonage?
Free weights. Not machines.
It’s all the pants fault. Always!
Dave Doolin shares some words of wisdom ..Saturday Morning Surfing: Jerry the Plumber and His Bad Day
[Reply]
Anne
Twitter: AnneOnline
Reply:
February 6th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
@Dave Doolin, Tonage, with a long ‘o’. Boy, that could be taken wrong, couldn’t it? I want to be tone, period.
Free weights I can do at home or the gym, but I’m not afraid of the machines. As long as I get where I want to be and can maintain. Maintaining is key. I’m getting rid of all my larger clothes once I get there. No turning back.
You might have a point on the pants. One day I had on a pair of pants I thought made me look cute. That was until I was shown a picture of what I looked like from behind. I immediately took them off and gave them to Goodwill. Yet, I can’t help but think I’m partially to blame.
[Reply]
I’m a teacher and I’m telling you right now that loser teacher who gave you a B and ruined your GPA should be fired. Isn’t it true that it’s ALWAYS something? Good job. I’m giving you an A.
Julie
Julie at jbulie’s blog shares some words of wisdom ..12 things I wish I knew before I started a blog.
[Reply]
Anne
Twitter: AnneOnline
Reply:
February 7th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
@Julie at jbulie’s blog, Thank you so much, Julie. And I totally deserved that B. It was my fault for flunking my final. How does one go from a 95% on their mid-term to a 60% on their final? I can only say I got in the way of my own success. I was recommended for the MBA program by the department chair. One day, perhaps.
Btw, love your blog!
[Reply]